return to yourself

“If you feel lost, disappointed, hesitant, or weak, return to yourself, to who you are, here and now. 
And when you get there, you will discover yourself, like a lotus flower in full bloom, even in a muddy pond, beautiful and strong.” 
― Masaru Emoto, The Secret Life of Water

image found on web

I had a weak moment last night and let the happiness I feel in my heart scare me.  This happens from time to time and when it does I feel disappointed in myself--being scared isn't disappointing--how I respond to it is. While it had never occurred to me before, I recently read an amazing book about how we often react to our thoughts about a person or situation and not reality. 


When I return to "myself" I am gently reminded of who I am...deep down inside where my crazy, silly, highly imaginative, loving, thoughtful, stubborn, beautiful, and lovable soul resides...and yes, I realize how skewed my response meter can be...and it's something I am continually working on. At times, it's hard not to beat myself up because it initially looks like a defective characteristic...but it's simply part of being human. Fortunately, awareness is key and I am definitely aware. 


 The hardest part is being patient. Why was it not remedied yesterday? Some things just take more time. I just pray that the people I care about most can be patient--(I promise that my response is not intentional)...nurturing, reassuring, and see that even during "muddy" times, I am still strong and beautiful...and totally worth it.