"yesterday you said tomorrow" - nike

image found on web

dear emilee, 
yesterday, you said "tomorrow i will actively seek out a new job" but then i become paralyzed. what do i really want to do???


yesterday you said "tomorrow i will sit down with my dear friend to complete my resume and cover letters" and then i become embarrassed to admit to my friend that my job is less than glamorous...how do you make something sound "pretty" when it's boring and mind numbing...fortunately it hasn't always been like this. i used to love my job. it was a challenge and i gladly took it on...but now it's like putting meat in a bowl for a tiger at the zoo...while the tiger may like that for a day or so--its true nature is to hunt, strategize, and be successful in its attack. i want the hunt--i'm not in the mood for complacency. 


 yesterday you said "tomorrow i will take time for ME" uh, oh-i sorta ignore this one often. i'm much better at using my time to do things for others--it's way more fun...until it becomes tainted with feeling worn out with little in my "me bucket" to give. there is beauty in being able to say--wait, me first, sometimes. 
don't get me wrong i take time for me and go to the gym...but that's not the kind of me time i am referring to. i'm referring to the art classes, writing classes, and massage therapy classes that i want to take. a day trip to the coast or some time creating a vision board. 


it's time for tomorrow to be filled with all that i promised today--because i am the only one suffering from my inability to follow through. well... i guess those who listen to me complain are suffering too. my apologies. i vow to push forward, confidently and intentionally.