helium tank* big toe * OUCH

image found on web

this isn't a picture of my x-ray but  when i was able to look at my x ray "that's just not right" was a thought that definitely came to mind--along with other thoughts that i just don't feel can be shared on my blog...mainly because you wouldn't be able to read them anyway...$%&*$(&*&$ $WTF ($#&*%%  yeah...hard to decipher for sure ;) to make a long story short--i managed to drop a helium tank on my left foot the monday after the event--shattering my big toe. fortunately, only crutches, antibiotics **it was considered an open fracture since it was bleeding so they don't want me to contract a bone infection, and about 6 weeks and i should be good to go... too bad 6 weeks is about 42 days...and that just seems like a long time...alas...this too shall pass. 


the 2nd Annual 5 and 10k Love was a hit...honestly, one of the greatest days of my life. i saw soo many smiles and high fives. amazing people helping...loved ones who came from near and far...not to mention the entire purpose of the event--to honor the life of Caleb Stecker- who at 50 days old left us all far too soon. as i've mentioned, i was never able to meet Caleb personally and though it might sound cliche, it is beyond apparent that this little guy's spirit lives on and continues to impact the lives of others. 
that morning i took the mic to address the crowd--even though i don't like my voice over a loud speaker...i attempted to tell people a bit about this event and why it's soo important to me. it took all of 3 seconds for me to get choked up...i know it's normal but every time i tell myself...no crying today--3 seconds later...the tears come marching one by one, hurrah hurrah! especially when i talk about this event. 
i fought really hard to maintain composure and after a long pause, was able to tell people that i first heard about Caleb when i started Eugene Crossfit and almost immediately felt compelled to make sure he is never forgotten. not just within our community but across the country as we set out on a mission to help other heart babies. Caleb was born with HLHS, so essentially the pumping chamber of his heart didn't work...but even with just half of a functional heart, i believe he had more heart than most...he was a fighter and impressed every dr. and nurse he came into contact with. he was all heart. and that is what reminds me to keep going when i get down about another broken foot. 
it's just a small obstacle, very minimal in comparison. i can get angry at the world and wonder why me? or i can just say--ok, this happened. moving on. i've been able to gain an even further appreciation for my health and well being--even when the scale shows annoying gains and my pants fit different and i stub my toe for the 5th time in a row...
i realize how important being active is to me. it has become more of an anti-depressant--a healthy way to soothe the occasional imbalances and skewed body image...while it doesn't cure those things, it certainly feels more like aloe vera to a sunburn than sand paper to my eyes. 


i continually meet families through Make-a-Wish and now the 5k Love and i sense their frustration, wondering why their child has a specific condition or was taken from them. I respect their anger, fatigue, and at times numbness.. and recognize all of those emotions are often extreme pain in disguise. 
it's hard to accept not being able to take away someone else's pain...fortunately, just because i can't take away someone's pain, doesn't mean i am completely helpless. my main goal for this event will continue to be:  bring a smile to peoples' faces and let them feel k-loved!