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i found saw this postsecret listed today and i couldn't have said it better. it's really- REALLY starting to annoy me that my depression won't seem to leave me alone. i have a great life and feel like i've been blessed with many wonderful people to share it with. too bad i end up feeling like an outcast that is completely misunderstood. lately, i feel like i everything i say comes out backwards and leaves me sounding unintelligent. major sad face. of all the things i fear, being considered "dumb" is probably the one that freaks me out the most. i love this picture because it seems to represent how i should feel...carefree and running into a fountain, having fun. instead i do things with great intentions to be carefree, but guess who always shows up? my depression. add in being fairly empathic and the two just send me spinning in my brain and it's very uncomfortable.
anyway, i used to want to kick my depression's a$$, but that wouldn't solve the problem...in fact, i think it would make me feel worse. i just want to make peace with it and then kindly escort it to the curb.
Wow. That sentence sums it up.
ReplyDeleteI also fear being thought of as dumb. And I guess over the past couple years, I've become quieter and quieter out of fear. Ugh. I think you're awesome. And I understand.
thank you robin. you are sooo not dumb. that's actually why i like talking with you soo much :)
ReplyDeletep.s. you are totally awesome and i admire your strength
Emilee, I think you have a great attitude about this-- "make peace with it and then kindly escort it to the curb." You are so wise.
ReplyDelete& I've never heard a "dumb" word out of either of your mouths. Even though it may not seem always like it from your point of view, you are charming and beautiful!