shitbegone...

image found on web

while staples might have the easy button, i'm thinking i could use a roll of this. not for literal reasons, actually. although it's always nice to have something on hand for emergency purposes. the kind of sh*t i am talking about is the kind that looks like your entire travel mug full of tea spilling onto your smart phone--that is sadly not smart enough to know how to swim. yeah, always a good way to start out a monday. would have been nice to have sh*tbegone to help soak up the lake that was my desk. 

my dear friend is a teacher who works with underprivileged youth ranging from 6th-9th graders. apparently they thought it would be a real hoot to crush up candy to make it look like cocaine and then snort it. she happened to walk in just as they were freaking out from the burning sensation their noses were experiencing. she was appalled and broken hearted. how do you discipline that kind of behavior without letting your fear of what this might mean overtake you.  she was unable to fully understand what would bring her students, kids she cares for deeply, to do such a thing. pretty sure she could have used some sh*tbegone to act as kleenex since they clearly had to blow the sugar out of their noses....on their way to the principal's office. 

sometimes, it is really-really-REALLY hard not to complain about little things, like stubbing your toe, or hitting your nose with the bar as you do a thruster at the gym...sometimes it is even hard not to complain about how much your job stinks....(yeah, i am terribly good at complaining about this)

i think the hardest part is it's always a choice--we get to choose how we handle those situations. last night, i was a total baby during the workout. i kept wanting to throw a temper tantrum. funny enough, it was one specific move that made me see red. and i realize that anything that causes that kind of response in me is more like a gift. it's an opportunity to tame the dragon that is my negative self talk. 

although, negative self talk might require BULLsh*tbegone. because that is what it really is, right?
come to think of it, BULLsh*tbegone might be extremely beneficial in the dating world. wouldn't it be nice if you could go out on a date, and pull bullsh*tbegone out like a police badge, or kryptonite and immediately cause the other person to refrain from feeding you any lines? ah, yes...that would be most excellent.