**if any of you are reading this...do you think it's ok to miss the service to run in honor of Debbie instead? i am still feeling torn....
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12.12.10 is the 1st Annual Holiday Half Marathon. I signed up in October. No real training has been done. If you consider eating and drinking too much, mixed with movie watching and hibernation. Well, then yes, I have been training like a pro.
An email just informed me that Debbie’s service will be held on Sunday. I’ve been torn. The Half is in Portland and starts at 8 am. Even if I ran like the wind (which would be a miracle), I wouldn’t make it back in time.
My mind was made up. I would instead run a half on Sunday in Eugene. By myself. But something didn't feel right about that...and then an idea came to me.
Since everyone expresses their sympathy and emotions differently, it felt natural to want to run in honor of Debbie.Knowing Debbie, she would want me to run.
And right now, running might be really good for me. It still hasn’t fully registered. After our company split, I no longer saw her every day. But that doesn’t mean her sweet smile was ever forgotten. If my heart were a pie chart, it would show a large percentage of sad, but honestly, I am more angry right now. The news paper released a picture of the suspect. My blood boiled when I saw it. I recognize that anger is often masked sadness, but it somehow makes me feel less helpless.
Ill feelings and wishes towards the coward who killed her add no value to my life or the world in general. And the reality is: even if an eye for an eye was implemented…it wouldn’t bring her back.
So instead, I will try to be positive and do something with this life and body I have been blessed with;I feel further blessed to have known a wonderful person like Debbie, who lived her life to the fullest, loved with all her heart, and impacted everyone she met.
____________________________________________________________________
12.12.10 is the 1st Annual Holiday Half Marathon. I signed up in October. No real training has been done. If you consider eating and drinking too much, mixed with movie watching and hibernation. Well, then yes, I have been training like a pro.
An email just informed me that Debbie’s service will be held on Sunday. I’ve been torn. The Half is in Portland and starts at 8 am. Even if I ran like the wind (which would be a miracle), I wouldn’t make it back in time.
My mind was made up. I would instead run a half on Sunday in Eugene. By myself. But something didn't feel right about that...and then an idea came to me.
Since everyone expresses their sympathy and emotions differently, it felt natural to want to run in honor of Debbie.Knowing Debbie, she would want me to run.
And right now, running might be really good for me. It still hasn’t fully registered. After our company split, I no longer saw her every day. But that doesn’t mean her sweet smile was ever forgotten. If my heart were a pie chart, it would show a large percentage of sad, but honestly, I am more angry right now. The news paper released a picture of the suspect. My blood boiled when I saw it. I recognize that anger is often masked sadness, but it somehow makes me feel less helpless.
Ill feelings and wishes towards the coward who killed her add no value to my life or the world in general. And the reality is: even if an eye for an eye was implemented…it wouldn’t bring her back.
So instead, I will try to be positive and do something with this life and body I have been blessed with;I feel further blessed to have known a wonderful person like Debbie, who lived her life to the fullest, loved with all her heart, and impacted everyone she met.
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