dr james-dreams vs expectations

my dear friend and i were talking about the july 4th reading in the book simple abundance by sarah ban breathnach. a quote by alice walker starts out the piece "expect nothing, live frugally on surprise"

it is written that many of us mistakenly think that lowering our expectations means we must surrender our dreams. 

i'm guilty...of being confused. how do we know the difference?
she says that "dreams call for a leap of faith, trusting that Spirit is holding the net, so that you can continue in the re-creation of the world with your energy, soul, gifts, and vision. expectations are the emotional investment the ego makes in a particular outcome--what needs to happen to make that dream come true. the ego's expectations are never vague"
if something doesn't manifest the way the ego had directed it...the way the ego had dictated was best for you...then you are left with a broken heart, bitter feelings, disappointment and it  can be self destructive.

i've been told that i have high expectations. this has always been hard to hear...
but i'm realizing that it maybe stems from having such high expectations of myself...that i inadvertently transfer those onto others...

a friend of mine likes to remind me to have low expectations. i've always thought this was his way to be lazy.but maybe he has been right--to some extent. he never said don't dream big...maybe he was warning me not to invest solely in the outcome- it may not lead to the happiness i had forecasted or assumed

it is important that i be patient with myself as i continue to not only learn the difference but to live it as well!

our ego is at the root of most expectations. think about it. have you ever given a gift to someone and been disappointed in their reaction upon receiving it? i have. that is an expectation that didn't pan out the way i had hoped. and usually i have ended up hurt or frustrated...when really, my only intention was to give a gift...how the other person receives it doesn't negate the gift.

i dated a guy once who, when asked a question, didn't answer the way my ego had hoped and i must have let it be known. he simply said--"i am sorry i am unable to do cartwheels at this time" ouch. but i can appreciate where he was coming from. our expectations were different.

the author continues by saying that she approaches the delicate balance of dreams and expectations based on dr james' teachings....DREAM, DO, DETACH. so simple and yet so true!

dr james continues..." once a decision is reached and execution is the order of the day, dismiss absolutely all responsibility and care about the outcome"

how true is that? while i've been planning the 5k, i've worried about what other people will think if it doesn't go just like so...i've worried that people will deem me incompetent and too unorganized to do such a thing. why would i dream this big anyway, i clearly have no idea what i am doing right?...

the list is long and pointless. and though i want to justify caring about the outcome, it is just the ego at work. i've put my all into it and have learned a lot. i can't lose sight of that.

sarah, the author tells us to go out and get real and personal about the pursuit of happiness and reminds us of what oprah once said about how god's dreams were "much more than she could have ever dreamed for herself" 

well said. she closes with a wonderful sentence "i also believe we'll only find out once we start investing our emotions in authentic expression, and not in specific outcomes"

our egos play tricks on us and cloud the distinction between what we want and how we think we are going to obtain it.

maybe it's time we play a trick on our egos and focus on the dream!