vitamin 'b'ean

honestly, i planned on starting 30 off on the right foot; granted i wasn't much more specific in regards to my right foot but it would be safe to assume i hadn't envisioned it being fractured with a cast. but how many things go exactly as planned? my little brother and his wife had planned on having a baby the first time they tried but had the misfortune of miscarrying not once but twice. i felt helpless watching their hearts ache. while celebrating christmas 2008 there was a conversation about how hard it would be for her to try again because she couldn't take losing another while he was saying that they couldn't just give up. the only thing i could do was listen.  both perspectives were understandable. hard to know how i'd feel given i've never had to go thru something like that.

so, fast forward to the start of 09 when i receive a phone call. the call that goes a little something like "we're having a baby" total elation!! whenever a sibling has called me with the news i've been so thrilled. 

plus, this meant that a niece or nephew would be somewhat close, since my other nieces and nephews live far away (i miss them dearly)

another conversation i remember took place long before my brother and sister-in-law were married, or even engaged. it's the night they came up with the name of their future daughter.

time travel to many years later....and a few months after the initial pregnancy news when they called to reveal the sex of the baby. austin said the baby's name will be....p-a-u-s-e...  verbena sue

my smile was as wide as my face; i'd even managed to wear a pink shirt that day. coincidence? i think not!

as biz advanced thru her pregnancy, i would get to feel baby V kick from time to time and at the end, i could even see her move! the last time i saw verbena in the belly was when we went apple picking. she seemed to have fun because she was kicking and flippin' around. my sister in law's ribs at this point weren't having as much fun.

we were all ready to meet this sweet baby girl. (especially her mommy)

on pirate's day we finally met her. ahoy!

she was only two hours old when i first held her. such a long, lean, and precious bundle of joy. 

getting to be in the presence of such an innocent being is a true blessing; i'm not sure how a little soul can shine such  bright light but many of my gray days have been made brighter by the Bean. 

she doesn't know that i haven't started 30 off on the right foot, and she doesn't judge me for it. she just lives in the moment and demonstrates how we all once started out. she demonstrates that being a baby requires courage, trust, patience...and forgiveness...the same goes for being an adult.

she reminds me that even though i'm not where i thought i would be at this point in my life, it's one step at a time, even if those steps require crutches. and i will get there...as she is proof that sometimes things don't go as planned...they go better than you could have ever imagined.