put it back how you found it

a week and a day...plus a few hours. it has been a flash flood, while still in my pajamas. at times my attempt to breathe is met with a lack of oxygen...perhaps due to the fumes of confusion. his initial display of an unbalanced thought process now appears cold and calculated in the aftermath. take care to you too!
it is not the loss so much...after all, aren't we just physical beings awaiting our non physical experience. some argue that we choose how we go. my eyes question this...have you ever seen someone in such pain as Cancer causes or the small hands of a newborn close with its last breath? they chose that?
is a break up similar? do we choose how it will go by attracting it or manifesting it somehow...perhaps-but for me the loss of the 'known' is what initiates most pain. it clouds my perception and any apparent dis-ease is over looked; in my mind the potential of the blossom is already engraved in a bouquet. the loss of US over shadows the broken-ness. it is after all a "break" up. though there were doubts that slept deep within me, i still chose to tuck myself into his tactile blankets. covered by the glow of the moon, i had hope.
now twice removed, the chill has found its way into my bones. i feel lonely and disposed of yet i will continue to walk towards the sun and trust in the journey...
p.s. the truth is...you can't put a heart back as you found it.
p.s.s. MY truth is....if it was ever love, would i want it put back the way it was found?...or can i ever find comfort in knowing that although it hurts, something is always gained. and if nothing more, i know i am alive.

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